Humor, Really?, Satire

Ryanair to install pay toilets on domestic flights

Ryanair announced today that they will install pay slots on the rest room doors for flights of less than two hours. Rumor is that flight attendants will more agressively offer free water to increase the airline’s restroom revenue from people needing more pee time.

According to Todd Shipley, the airline’s Supervisor of Hygienic In-air Technology, “People have been conditioned to assume that there will be rest rooms available when they fly but that wasn’t always the case.” He went on to cite the Wright Brothers first flight at Kitty Hawk, which of course had no potty facilities. “I guess people were just tougher back then,” said Shipley. It is estimated that Ryanair spends over $6 million per year just on toilet paper and the funny blue liquid in the flying port-a-johns.

Reaction from passengers has been mixed. Sales rep Kristina Van Der Hosen of Compton, Illinois was horrified at the thought of having to “hold it in” if she didn’t have the proper change. On the other hand, intrepid frequent flyer Stanley Haversham shrugged off the potential inconvenience by saying , “Those money grubbers aren’t getting another dime out of me. I’ll just bring a rubber band.”

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About Michael

This blog has a mix of some of my main interests in life: travel, politics, food and generally being a curmudgeon. Enjoy.

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