Yesterday the Arizona state legislature passed a new law requiring that all candidates for president be circumcised and provide a certificate to that effect. If they are unable to offer said certificate they will have to undergo an inspection before the Arizona Surgeon General to prove that they have in fact been clipped. The bill requiring candidates to expose … Continue reading
The latest trend among locavores is to only eat food that was raised humanely and grown within 10 miles of their cutlery drawer. These actions will help promote local farms and ease the pollution created by transporting food thousands of miles to its final destination. This sounds all well and fine but now we are witnessing a wave of … Continue reading
When I was growing up I used to love the ominous public service announcement that would appear on TV just before the nightly news. A deep voice would intone, “It’s 10 PM, do you know where your children are?” Mostly I was just jealous of those obviously derelict kids who were out at the un-Godly hour of 10 … Continue reading
Look Ma, no hands In an effort to fight impending water shortages and help contribute to a cleaner planet, the Environmental Protection Agency is mandating the installation of waterless water fountains in all federal buildings. EPA spokeswoman Carrie Nowicki said, “we have already installed flushless urinals in many of our buildings and the water savings have been tremendous. I’ve personally never used … Continue reading
American Airlines announced today that they will install pay slots on the rest room doors for flights of less than two hours. Rumor is that flight attendants will more agressively offer free water to increase the airline’s restroom revenue from people needing more pee time. According to Todd Shipley, the airline’s Supervisor of Hygienic In-air Technology, “People have … Continue reading
