Yesterday the Arizona state legislature passed a new law requiring that all candidates for president be circumcised and provide a certificate to that effect. If they are unable to offer said certificate they will have to undergo an inspection before the Arizona Surgeon General to prove that they have in fact been clipped. The bill requiring candidates to expose their ying-yangs to prove their worthiness to be president is referred to as the “Girther Bill.”
According to the local head of the Girther movement, Yuma State Rep. R. Obate, “if they’ve been circumcised it shouldn’t be a problem to slap it on the table to prove it. If you like, I’ll prove mine right now.” He didn’t think any privacy issues should be involved noting that one recent president, Bill Clinton, came into office with affidavits already filed in several public lawsuits referring to the shape and configuration of his genitalia.
Michele Bachmann, who despite unbridled Internet rumors to the contrary does not have the necessary equipment to be circumcised, came out fully in favor of the bill. Bachmann said, “It’s about time these male candidates put all their cards on the table and show us what they’ve got. I’m sick of being the only real man in the Republican field.” Donald Trump responded to Bachmann’s accusation by saying, “Anytime, anywhere babe. I’ll introduce you to The Donald.”
The Palin campaign filed suit against the bill saying it discriminates against female candidates. Bill sponsor Obate fired back that he once saw a show on TMZ where the practice is common among women in Africa. Obate said, “If it’s good enough for them women well then by golly it’s good enough for the ones what we got here.” He went on, “Personally I think everybody fighting this is a bunch of sissies. We all had hernia exams for gym class. It’s pretty much the same thing except with less poking around and you don’t have to turn your head and cough.”
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer may nip the issue in the bud and has threatened to veto the bill, calling it “a bris too far.”